… a coworker told me last week. I found myself pondering the idea to go and buy something loudly. I was short of zucchini, I needed one to finish the plating and I was 10 minutes away from serving time. But that idea to me made sense.
From my side I heard a feminine voice saying “Stretch it, you can do it… You are your worst enemy”.
For a second a pause introduced itself in my thinking mind and I went blank. When I regain the thoughts I smiled and realized that what I just heard was the most truthful observation about myself somebody shared in a long time.
From that day I used that gift to discover something about myself that never came up to my consciousness. I have been my worst enemy. Almost all my life I did boycott myself in many ways. Especially with perfectionism.
Definition of perfectionism: “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable”.
I knew that I used to be a perfectionist and that created a lot of stress and time wasting. I couldn’t find a worse job than a chef position. Also, I remember when in the past I didn’t want to perform certain tasks because it was so stressful for me knowing that I would leave with a little voice in my head saying “that is not perfect”. For example, making beds. At the same time on the other side of the coin, I found myself learning so many things because of it. Every time something wasn’t working I would look into it until I was able to make it work. And I still do this today. It became a choice.
All this connects to this talk that opened a new interesting perspective about how I lived my life and how I choose to step into new ideas and interesting things.
Going back to me being perfect, I would like to share one example that is a pillar to the creation of the life I have.
– Snowboarding. I have been an avid snowboarder with a dream to become a pro. This month I realized how I stopped myself. I am just going to repeat the phrase “You are your worst enemy”. How did I never became a pro? First with complaining that I didn’t have as much support as others, often during sessions with better riders than me. That made me feel better about myself. Second with not risking new tricks because of my basics that were not “perfect”. Trying over and over the safe tricks telling myself that before to try something new I had to learn those well.
Can you see the pattern? Excuses and playing safe.
Now I am back full cycle but this time I will create a new cycle, I will step out of the old and embrace the new. Embrace the unknown and playing bolder. Is time.
Finally, I want to thank the sport that allowed me to be here now, finding a new way of life. And that cold snow and mountain that made me feel safe. Stepping now for many years around the ocean where changes are more pronounced.
Where do you boycott yourself?